two mentees?

I fell like I'm actually in two mentor relationships - one w/ my highschool student "Sam" and one with my co-worker.

Now - here is the irony. I feared that the work with my co-worker would not develop into a mentor/mentee relationship as I thought the current climate at work would not support the development (or nurturing) of such a relationship - so I hesitated to "force it" by specifically labeling the relationship as such. I thought mentoring a student would be more "doable" for the purposes of this course and would also provide me with an experience that I've been missing (working with young adults).

Now - half way through the term - the "unlabeled" mentor relationship with my colleague is showing wonderful progress for both of us. We are both learning (about ourselves and each other), we are sharing our knowledge and helping each other to develop much needed and desired skills. We are working better together and with the team as a whole.

The "labeled" mentor relationship has, in the last couple of weeks, presented some difficult challenges. Sam hit some snags in her personal life and chose to avoid both school and me for a bit over a week (she would missed a face-to-face meeting and would not return phone calls). In the interim, I visited the school and spent some time with the office attendant and one of the teachers. I spent some time looking at the list of credits she still needs to earn and I found out that she has skipped several classes and assignments. So - what to do... I didn't want to "come down" on her... I feel it is important to show understanding of and sensitivity to the challenges that life is currently presenting her with, but I also feel it is important to not endorse giving up. The really challenging thing is that she doesn't think she is giving up. She isn't giving up all at once (as in quitting school) - but I see her giving up little by little (skipping class here, not turning in an assignment there, etc).

I was able to reach her by telephone yesterday. We spoke for a while - I just let her tell me what was going on in her life at the moment (many tensions and conflicts with her family... she has moved out of her grandmother's and in with her boyfriend and his family). I didn't want to have a candid conversation about her credits over the phone, so I tabled that discussion until we could meet face-to-face. We set an "appointment" to meet this afternoon at her school. They were doing the AIMS testing today... so I knew she would be there if I timed it right.... which I did.

We talked a bit about what's going on in her life and about how it is impacting her school work. I suggested that she set some more immediate goals - rather than just big dates like graduation and getting that drivers license, we worked on setting some weekly goals... one week at a time. So - for this week (rest of this week through Thursday next week... Because Thurs/Fri this week are "holidays" for "rodeo") - she is going to complete her driver's education packet (this is worth 1/4 credit). She is also going to sit down with her advisor/teacher (I spoke w/ the advisor/teacher and gave her a heads up on this) and make a map of the credits she still needs so that we can make a visual picture of what she is currently working on and how relates to the credits she needs. I think this kind of a visual will help her feel more in control of her progress toward graduation. She seems to loose focus on the big picture and then get easily discouraged when she re-discovers that there is still more to do. I'm hoping that if she takes a more active role in tracking her own progress, she might keep her focus better. I don't think my role should be to call her every day and make sure she gets to school... but I would like to find ways to help her take more control of her decisions and maintain a focus on the small things that will help her achieve the big thing.

The final thing we talked about was PO boxes. "Sam" is moving around a bit (grandma's, boyfriend's, boyfriend's family, etc). She talked about putting in a change of address form to change her official address from her grandmother's to her boyfriend's family... I suspect that this living arrangement will change sometime in the next few months.... so... I asked her if she had thought about a PO box instead... Someplace where she can receive mail regardless of where she is currently living. She did not even know that such a thing existed... which I find fascinating... I can't help but wonder if she's really never heard of one... but I'm working on suspending my disbelief... afterall she did grow up in a fairly small town and has not really been out on her own until this year.